Releasing Struggle and Negative Emotion
Resistance Leads to Unhappiness
Using the CTFAR Practice for Success!
How to Manage Your Thoughts
How to Manage Your Feelings
How to Drive Your Actions
How to Create the Results You REALLY Want
How to Release the Past
Life is full of circumstances. Situations. Things that happen. We don’t always control these, but we do control our reactions and how we hold on to them. Learn how to navigate any situation to succeed.
Life is full of circumstances. Situations. Things that happen. It all starts here.
Write down CTFAR
Circumstance - it’s just a fact. It is not the same as a thought. Its just is. We don’t control those. Our past is all about circumstances. More later.
People create circumstances
Neutral, until we have a thought about it.
The sky is blue today. It’s 10:00am. This person said this… When I was 15, this happened…
Let’s take 15 - something horrible? Something wonderful… We add the descriptions and qualifiers; judgements. This is what moves us to thoughts.
Our thoughts create our feelings. Our feelings are a huge part of this and are created based on our thought choice.
Our thoughts create our feelings. Our feelings drive our actions and our actions create our results.
Something happens and we think that is what creates our results.
But, that’s not accurate - it’s our thoughts and feelings around it.
Thoughts and feelings are a choice.
Don’t control what happens or the situation/circumstance.
Do control reactions
Do you control your thoughts? Yes, by becoming aware.
Check in on your thoughts if you want to create change.
When you think a thought, ask - how does this serve me? Make me feel? How might I change that thought.
Switch out two words - why for how. Not WHY does this happen to me; but How can I learn and grow from this.
How to Manage Your Thoughts
What is thought management?
Let’s start with this - if you aren’t managing your thoughts in the way that serves you, and most are not, you are going to struggle with life and business.
When you choose a thought to have about something, that’s when you’re going to determine how you feel.
ALWAYS remember to choose very carefully.
Because you choose how you are going to think about it. Don’t allow past to slop over and create negative thoughts.
For a week, do a thought download. Get a journal and check in on your thoughts and feelings around them.
You get what you think about whether you like it or not. Choose good thoughts that you want.
Begin to become very mindful of your mind, and the thoughts you think. Awareness creates change.
When you catch negative thoughts, ask a how question.
We are going to reprogram your brain.
Instead of your mind telling you what to do, think, feel and believe, you are going to take back control and start telling it.
A new thought process - I feel the way I do because of how I am choosing to think. This can change everything for you because you are back in control and in power!
beginning - many negative thoughts. just write them down. Sit with them. FEEL them. Then, begin to shift them and notice how your feelings shift.
Soon, you’ll begin to see a shift in your thinking and everything else - FAR
Spend time each day DECIDING what you want to think about and positioning those positive thoughts.
How does this cause you to feel and react?
How to Manage Your Feelings
Feelings are next.
As you write down the CTFAR, choose one word for the feeling.
Happy, sad, angry, hurt, shocked, inspired, fabulous, loving, joyful…
Focus on that word and the feelings it inspires. how it describes you right now.
Don’t fight your feelings in the beginning. Just sit with them.
Write this down - If you can live with the worst possible feeling or fear of what might happen, there is nothing you won’t do.
Feel the feeling, and ask yourself - what’s the worst that can happen? Can I live with this?
So allow everything. Allow your thoughts. Allow your feelings. Then decide how you will act upon the,.
Allowing them increases your awareness of them.
When you resist something, you block it out of your consciousness. But, it doesn’t go away and you don’t stop thinking about it.
It just makes us feel out of control.
The reason why we’re unable to control our reactions in our life is because we’re unaware of the thoughts and feelings driving them. Once we become aware, it becomes much easier to notice the thought and the feeling before the reaction happens and to make a deliberate choice there.
Ultimately, the choice can happen at the thought level, when you start directing your mind and telling it what to think.
No one lives their life without negative thoughts and feelings. IT’s awareness, control and shifting that makes things easier, better, effortless and you create what you want.
Things are going to happen that you feel sad about; frustrated; mad. Fine, allow the feeling.
Accept it; feel it; sit with it. Then, move on.
We can talk about EFT Tapping; journaling and other exercises to let go of the feelings after awhile.
Feeling some negative emotions and then shifting allows you to be aware and move on from them instead of staying stuck.
Please be very aware of your self talk and feelings about yourself.
Negative words - bad, ugly, overweight, not good enough vs good words that serve.
How to Drive Your Actions
We take action daily on all different things and the ay we show up is driven mostly by our feelings.
When you feel confident, what action might you take?
When you feel sad, what action might you take?
Do you see where your feelings are what truly drive your actions?
You may force yourself to take action when your feelings are out of alignment, but what shows up?
Usually, not the results you want.
Weigh in on your feelings and get them aligned before you take action. The actions you take will vary dramatically based on your feelings
How to Create the Results You REALLY Want
Your actions will always determine your results. What you do is going to create a certain result.
What are the results you want?
Simply work this process backwards to get the results you want.
Does that make sense?
People say - tell me the perfect script; product; company; blog; offer, etc.
It doesn’t start there. It starts right here, with what we are talking about. Get that right, and it doesn’t matter how badly you fumble things.
Release the Past
Many of us get lost in resisting and arguing with the past. Or.trying to change it.
Let it go. Seriously, release it.
It was meant to be and to serve you in some way. Find that.
My family drama and Thanksgiving.
Stumbled onto some information that was exchanged between two people, and it shocked me. I felt every emotion you can imagine.
And, then I remembered all of the work I have done on ME. And, I chose to go there.
Nothing that happened defined me. It defined them.
Also, I realized it wasn’t even about me. It was about something in them. Maybe it was careless; jealousy; intentional. Doesn’t matter.
My question is - how can I let this be one of the best things that’s happened to me? To grow? To be better when it comes to others, or make sure I am showing up how I want to with others.
I choose to look at it as a gift designed to make me better in any situation. Although I didn’t do anything to cause what happened; it was a choice made by someone else; I can look at myself and see how I can grow and if there was anything in my way of showing up to others that attributed to their decision regarding our relationship.
Things happen a certain way. We all have a perception about that. There is no point debating if it should have happened or could have been different; it’s done.
If it serves you better, look at the past and focus on accepting it as a gift. How can that gift better you?
Promise me this - that you are willing to stay with the practice long enough to see results. Because I promise you, you will.
Imagine how this might change life and business.
Do you have a question for me? DM me on Instagram @jackieulmer
Ready to create more success in your business? Your first step to learn this - SocialSellingMagic.com - let’s start there.
Hey, if you like what you are hearing and learning on the podcast, you really should check out the Street Smart Wealth Academy. We take all of this and package it into a radical shift for you, and the way you think and act in your business.
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What could be better than that?
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BUSINESS, SALES AND SOCIAL MEDIA COACHING AND STRATEGIES
Learn more about the Street Smart Wealth Academy; THE "success mentoring" teaching you the "skills to pay the bills!"
What we will do together in 4 Simple Steps:
Master Your Marketing Plan - Build a Complete Online and Offline Strategy
- We will build and develop your "brand", which is the gateway to creating the rest of your marketing plan, online and offline
- You will know exactly who your ideal client is and how to attract them to you
- You will know how to build your audience; nurture them; and create killer marketing copy that speaks to the heart, all done with consistency for growth
- You will create systems so you know each day what your marketing strategy is, and you know how to execute it
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Master Your Messaging and Success Language - Know How to Position Yourself, Your Client, Your Offer
- You will learn the secrets of language and positioning to create interest and get your audience to lean in
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Master Your Time Management and Productivity - How to Become a Professional Entrepreneur
- You will know exactly where to focus your time and energy to get the best results
- You will learn to release resistance and excuses that hold you back; and build the discipline needed to succeed
- You will know where your business is going and how to predict growth and profits
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- You will know how to set your goals and achieve them
- You will have accountability to keep you focused and on track
- You will do all of this without feeling overwhelmed
Master Your Mindset and Limiting Beliefs
- You will learn how to take back control over your thinking
- You will detox from negative self talk, comparanoia, procrastination and overthinking
- You will create better relationships with your partner, your family, friends, team and most specifically, yourself
- You will cleanse scarcity and fear based thinking from your life
- You will know how to solve any problem or challenge for yourself
- You will learn how to capture your big ideas and monetize them
Bonus content includes:
Taming the Money Monster
Peak Performance Habits
Mental Yoga and Thought Download Process
I'll be sharing the concepts, tools and training to support your marketing, growth and business goals. While the principles that I teach are complete for any Solopreneur business, the details, strategy and implementation will be tailored to you through my mentorship.
I coach and train on the exact strategies I used to reach top income earner status in my network marketing company, and sell products and services in over 40 countries, using digital marketing. These are the same strategies I use today in my coaching business. I don't teach theory.Learn more at Coach With Jackie
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